the passionable cafe of rae

I'm not even gonna update my journal, as much as it sooooo needs to be. Nope, I forgot to thank Rachel for the lj gift she gave to me, so, THANK YOU, RACHEL FOR THE GOPHER! xD <3

I have very few lj gifts, you see. The cookies and milk I often see on other people's journals get me a little excited and sometimes a little jealous. I wonder if people actually pay for gifts and give them to people, and if they do, then  it's pretty special, so when I got this pomeranian puppy from krissaur and this gopher from jonghyung, I felt pretty stinkin special!

So thank you again for the lj gifts! <3

P.S.: My gopher's mischievous. It frikkin moved. I went back to my profile window and that gopher fluttered. It thought I wasn't lookin, but I caught it. Rachel, you sent me a bewitched gopher.


AND there's lj games now?! I spotted a sims one too. I'll probably be on that thing later tonight. lol

"Hrmm, I'm trying to break some procrastination habits by getting this paper done 2 days early and I still haven't started. Right now I have nothing to do, but I still would rather play Solitaire or check my facebook than start this thing. lol"

This is what I posted on my FB status about an hour ago and since then I've written a fancy sentence on a once blank document that hasn't been named or saved yet. So far so good! lol not. But I've decided I have plenty of time to do it tomorrow when I'm REALLY bored at workstudy tomorrow evening. I pray I actually do it then. Or maybe even before! Then I can at least say I've written the paper a day early. :)

hehe, I'm really tempted to watch another episode of Kimi No Todoke before I go to bed. It's exactly like the manga, too, which means I'll be reading the rest when I'm done with the anime. lol

Yesterday I was supposed to have explained more about my future job, but yeah, it didn't happen. (ΘεΘ;)

My worries are eased now though because I was called by the hiring manager Friday morning saying I'd start my training on Tuesday after class. I'll have 24 training hours. :D I'm excited about starting, but I'm sure I'll get tired of it after a few weeks. hehe

And I need some khaki pants for work. I don't wear regular pants anymore. I almost always wear skinnies if they're ever long pants, so I googled where I'd find khaki skinnies. lol I'll be going to Target tomorrow.

Didn't do too much this weekend. Gwyn and I went out a few times, mostly to just eat somewhere. We did go to Northlake Mall yesterday, and that was enjoyable, as always. But dang, it's too cold!!! I don't even want to leave the apartment, man! It's supposed to snow again Tuesday, and Gwyn and I both are already done with seeing snow, lol.

We got more junk food at Walmart. I also got some more pens and paper for class, some poster board to tack up on a bare wall in my room for some more flare, and a desk calendar for organizing my life! haha.

I wanted to fill up the poster boards with doodles and nonsense, so I bought some sharpies too. Isn't that exciting?!

It's almost the end of the academic year and Gwyn and I still haven't figured out where we're gonna live over the summer. I have a job now so I'm totally staying in Charlotte this summer. But, of course, I won't have City View to live in during that time, so I need to start seriously finding a place and having one soon so I won't be stuck when the time comes, ya know?

And there's this lottery the school's doing for 3rd and 4th years students who would like to have a spot in City View next year, and there's a $50 fee to have your name randomly selected. That's a waste of money if you're not even guaranteed a spot. I don't want to live there next year anyway. :/

Apartments are really cheap near UNCC, so getting one may be easier than I'm thinking, but I still kinda want to rent a house if we get enough roommates. I say "but" alot. ugh.

Anyway, I'm gonna go now. I need to go to bed soon. :D

Peace for now! <3

- Raeven

Ugh, that's all I can think right now. If someone would forget everyone and everything else for a moment and hire me PLEASE. Then I can finally feel financially stable and independent and all those jibz.

MY GOODNESS! I know you're hiring Harris Teeter, and you too Food Lion. Be considerate and train someone with no experience so she can GAIN experience. =___=

Looking for jobs are frustrating as heck, especially when the job's in your hands but the hiring managers working there are taking their good ol' time calling people for interviews. UGHUGHUGHUGH!!!!!

I hate calling to remind them. I'm not one to hound. *sigh*

:<

My midterm grades aren't where I want them either. hehe Two classes are B's, but the other two. . . >.> I need to start studying big time.

AND I NEED A JOB YOOOO.

Peace out for now. :)

- Raeven

I caught another cold. This usually doesn't happen to me so close to the other one I had back in November, even though the one in November was a weak one (Again, I rarely ever get sick). This one's a little stronger. It actually came with a fever, and I'm at work right now, shiverin my buns off. I'm a little warmer now cuz I put my jacket on, but yeah, I'm not looking forward to the walk home.

You know when you're not feeling well and you have a fever of any level and your skin's just sensitive? Like, you don't want your skin to rub up on the clothes you're wearing or anything? That's how I feel now. And my body's a little richetty. My head's swimming, and my voice is low. :P

Hehe, the one cool thing I like when I have a cold though is that while my voice is smoky from being sore, it makes me sing better. At least, that's what I think in the shower. I wish my singing voice was like this everyday! :D

I went to all my classes today except for Macroeconomics, my last class in the evening, overslept during my nap between classes and was late for the Psychology test. But overall, the day was better than I thought it would be. I thought I wouldn't want to get out of bed this morning, but after taking a shower, I was fine for most of the day though my face hurt --maybe sinuses?). Gwyn and I caught this thing together. She caught it first, then I picked it up just yesterday. keke.

I don't know how well I did on the test, but I'm not too worried. I've been doing good so far, gettin A's on my quizzes. One thing that surprised me though, was that even though I was 15 minutes late, literally rushed out of my apartment to get there, coming into a classroom to everyone stopping their tests to stare at me for a second, I had no anxiety. That's a first in a very long time! A couple years ago, I picked up this restlessness in organized crowded places. I didn't feel comfortable in the classroom or any other kinds of gatherings where you had to sit down and focus attention on an authority in front of you. Actually, the one thing I worried about on my first days of academic classes were that I may end up with a seat in the front, close to the front, or dead center, away from a door I can slip away to if I needed to.

Every day, at some point of the alotted time in the classroom (if I'm feeling uncomfortable, which is most of the time in these situations), I'd get so restless and anxious that it was hard to concentrate and I thought everyone was looking at me, that they thought I was crazy. It's far-fetched, but I've programmed myself to think this way for too long. Now I'm trying to program it back, but it's not gonna happen all at once. I'm not going to settle with saying that being around people makes me anxious. It's an easy excuse shy people can get away with, but it's not going to be me.

But anyway, yes, I was surprised. Maybe the fact that I just woke up, was a little hazy in the head, and I was too strung on being there in enough time for the test(that my professor hadn't kicked me out for being so late) to care. All the other times I've been put in pressing situations like that I've freaked out inside. But this time it didn't . So now I ask myself why can't I not care like I did today? Why don't I just tell myself my education's more important than how I'm looking in the classroom or anywhee else? I'm gonna practice that. I'm gonna focus on that and see what happens. :D (hmph!)

Rachel came over and picked Gwyn and I up to go out somewhere a few hours ago. We went to Amelie's and played card games and talked. It was very enjoyable! xD They dropped me off at the library when I had to go to work and hit the movies. They're seeing Tangled right now. I wanted to see that!;_;

After I got dropped off was when my body decided to be a meanie. So now I'm feeling like a grandpa all old and crippled in his rocking chair (envision this with me, folks) Oh, and I lost my key card again. lol I called Amelie's and they didn't see it, so maybe I left it back home. PPPPRRREAZZZZEEE BE BACK HOME!

<3

P.S. - The girl who works with me on my shifts always has her guy friend talking to her in deep convo across the desk for hours! He's alot like me in alot of ways. He thinks about relationships like me, actually wants a friend before a gf. I've been nosy with their convos, but they gladly let me in, so I've been talking with them, killing time.

At one point, my coworker left to get her things and he said the guy I checked out dvds to was flirting with me:

me: "lol, I know, but ermurgh (sideways glance) - I wasn't interested.
him: "probably wanted you to watch those movies with him."
me: "Yeah, no, not gonna happen keke"
*cackles together*
me: "Yeah, I'm kinda picky. My friends have started to say that about me."
him: "but that's good. You know what you want and you shouldn't settle for less"
*I nod nod nod*
him: "Don't let your friends say that about you because they've probably moved to fast with past relationships"
*screech* *clear throat*
me: "oh no, the friends I do have are very close to me, they know me. When they said I was picky, they meant it in a good way"
*then he nods, approves*
him: "oh ok, well then that's very good!"

:D
It was a really nice convo. I APPROVE OF GUYS LIKE THIS! But I'm not really attracted to this one. >.> I mean, we can totally talk in the future, and I say whatever happens (with any guy I talk to),happens. If it's meant to be, fine. But yeah, we just talked. :) And what I love most is that he wasn't flirting at all, just wanted to talk. I LOVE THAT.

So bai for now! A mission for a part time profession is underway for Gwyn and I tomorrow. WE WILL BOTH COME OUT OF IT IN TRIUMPH AND VICTORY!!!

lovebeans. I'm out. <3333333

OH YEAH. TVXQ's Keep Your Head Down. It was THA BOSS. BOSSIN IT UP AND SERVIN IT TO JYJ. Whatever the media says about it, I know it was for JYJ and I'm glad they did it. It'll hopefully knock some gay out of Yoochun and make me love him a little again. Or it'll just make him cower in a corner and a cling to Jaejoong wondering what trash they've made Kanye West rap to and why Homin came out singing like the gourmet biscuits they've always been while JYJ has two of the best singers and sound like a sad outdated can of Pilsbury dough.

Kay, now I'm really out. xD

- Raeven

I just changed my layout, and all by myself! haha, I looked up all these tutorials for different things, found a pretty plain layout code on an lj comm and messed around with the css code box. Wasn't as bad as I thought! Now I won't try to pester friends about hacking into my account to change my layout for me.

I feel like I should backtrack on what I've been doing with my life. That'll have to wait yet again, hopefully until only tomorrow. I'm undergoing some revamping of everything. hehe, I'm bored with all my online accounts. I just feel like I've been too mediocre with stuff, so it's time to learn some new skills and be consistent. It's probably going to end up being one of my resolutions for the new year.

I really cherish this journal. Every day that passes, I'm reminded that I'm neglecting to update this thing. It could be so simple, yet I'm too lazy to upload a few pictures and share my thoughts. Most times I need new things to motivate me.

If I get tired of my itunes playlist, I'll avoid using my computer altogether sometimes.
When I get bored with my lj layout, I neglect posting.
When my room's disorganized and messy, it affects my motivation to do homework.
(it's how I roll :/)

It's weird, because I never used to like change much. I loved routine. In some aspects, I still do, but I think alot of it changed because of how I live now. Since college, I don't really have a permanent home. I lived in a dorm last year; live in an apartment owned by the university now; and I plan to get a house with Gwyn next year. My current schedule back in Charlotte's ever-changing and busy, and spontaneous. Never thought I'd like that, but right now I do.

I've put my plans on getting a job in full swing. My work-study job in the library isn't doing much of anything. As a full-time college student with a 20hr/2 wk job, I'm eligible for a max of $200 in food stamps each month. That really comes in handy when living with 3 other roomies who are as short of money as I am.

I actually took my sweet old time on a resume based on my culinary experiences and gave them to a few bakeries. One of them was an authentic French bakery in a hipster part of Charlotte called Amelie's Bakery. I ADORED the place. It was the only original bakery I'd ever physically visited aside from the awesome ones you see in magazines and cookbooks. Unfortunately, the place looked over staffed, and the dress of the staff was very informal and laid back. It was a turn off. I don't really want to work there anymore.

I tried a bread bakery and another ritzy one uptown, but no callback yet. Gave up on the bakeries and applied for a cookware store in South Park mall, where an insanely beautiful creature named James worked. Apparently, they'd already hired two more people just that morning. Uh-huh, yeah, I'm gonna believe that one. >.>

Applied at Best Buy and Target the other day, called and was told to check again after January (*heavy sigh*), and applied for 4 locations at Harris Teeter online. I'm calling them tomorrow. PLEASE GOD LET ME HAVE THIS ONE ;_;

So yeah, uh huh, Gwyn came back with me to Charlotte after Thanksgiving break. Things went well and she's staying with me for the rest of this academic year, I believe xD. We both want to get jobs and save up for the future ahead. Hopefully, by this summer I'll have a job, which'll be just the excuse to stay in Charlotte and put in a deposit for a house for rent. Houses for rent are ridiculously reasonable in NC. It's crazy. A 4-bedroom house split between four people would be as less as $250 a person. And it may include some scrumptious hardwood floors! *0*

So basically, I have big plans, even bigger dreams. Though I've been in my room all day today, even got up super late, I'm very happy with life right now. Maybe it's also because it seems the kpop realm is doing so many boombastic things to me I just want to shake, cry, thrash, and crash.

♦ I mean, dbsk's technically back (with just Changmin and Yunho), but still. I just saw the teasers for their comeback in Jan. 5 and I can't even. . .


CAN YOU EVEN COMPUTE AFTER THIS?!?!
PLAY THAT SWEET BISCUIT WITH SOME MUSIC, YO, AND WATCH THIS GIF! :Q____


(no really, it is, lol)

When I watched the teaser, I heard the familiarity of the dbsk I always loved and miss, and if I think about how all of 5 of them could've been in this, I really could cry. I don't think people understand when I tell them about a Korean pop sensation called Dong Bang Shin Ki. These boys freakin impacted my whole life! I was so proud of them; loved how close they were. Seeing them broken up like this really hurts. Even after things have been kind of resolved between JYJ and Homin, I don't think it's hitting me until now, until after homin's coming back with all these fierce and powerful photoshoots, and all these fierce and powerful teasers, and this fierce and powerful song.

DBSK was my first love ♥ My first boyfriend. The boyfriend who died unexpectedly and left me with alot of questions and bittersweet memories, then came back as a friendly ghost to stay by my side, while in the back of my mind, I'm knowing it won't be the same.

But what bothers me most is not knowing what they're feeling about all of this. If I knew they were all happy, I wouldn't care whether they split or not. That's all I want to know. :3

♦ And then GD&TOP popped up with their jammin album and mv. And Knock Out's gonna be the next mv.

♦ And Big Bang's gonna have an album released soon, whenever that is

♦ And 2PM's still hotsaucing it with everything they do

♦ And I 2NE1's on fire with all their mv releases this year (all of them eyepoppin and bootybumpin)

♦ And I feel like Taeyang's gonna blow up in America soon. That's my prediction. That anticipation has me bubbling up like a heavily carbonated soda, man

Wow, I need to go to bed. It's 4am.
On Monday, Gwyn picked Stasha and me up to stay the night. We watched Inception. I saw it for the first time, and it was crazy. I lived it. SO VERY GREAT. And crazy. <3 We also went to McDonalds for a good hour, talkin it up about everything. Well, mostly boys. And it got on some pretty deep levels, some sexy levels. lol
The next morning, we got up and dressed to go to the mall.



Gwyn chillin on a bench outside the mall before the old creeper sitting across from us
asked for her age and if she had a boyfriend. I mean, really man? Ugh. I'm glad we were there to rescue her!! jk jk, I'm sure she'd have been perfectly fine without us. :p


Rockin' the Pinkage wigs. <333333

( a few more pics & the rest of meh entry here ♥ )

I'm back in Charlotte now! xD I've been back since yesterday actually.
The train ride up was enjoyable other than the unrelenting AC that seemed to blow my way on full blast. omg, I froze my butt off. They provide nothing but pillows on a train. No blankets. It's what they need. o.o.

So I'm staying at Tisha's house again like I did last year. She and her family have helped me out alot. xD And her little son Xavier's seriously the brightest boy I've ever known! The kid just shouldn't know or say the things he does at his age. It's amazing. I want a son like him. :D

I've been chillin for most of today. I woke up late(nothing new there) and took my time getting dressed to go out. I went to an auto place to replace the windshield wiper blades on my car. The guy who helped me pick them out was gay, and it's nothing new these days, but I just thought it was interesting that a gay guy worked at an auto parts store. >.> Maybe it's just me. lol He was super sweet. :)

Yesterday, after I went to Mrs. Sonia's house to get my car, I drove downtown to City View to visit Cyril(the only one I know whose moved in), and was glomped in the hall by another guy friend (who disappeared somewhere soon after). Cyril was on the phone with Yaz, standing out in the balcony, and when he let me through the slide door, I coulda fallen off the balcony. The view was AMAZING! I'm soooooo jealous! I told him I'd be at his balcony so much, they can pretty much just call it mine. :p I want itttt! ! ! ! ! ! You can see the whole freaking city! ughhhhhhhh it's delicioussssss.

We talked to Yaz on speaker phone for a while about how we're gonna cook up a storm at our apartment. Cyril and Ten said they'd be there to eat our food, and blah blah. It was a good time. xDD Cyril walked me back to the parking deck down the block, because I can't park in City View as a visitor, and because it was dark and late and I sure as heck am not walking alone. :T

Parking in City View is full. It filled up as fast as a dbsk concert would. I was too late, so I'm thinking about paying for monthly parking in the public parking lot across the street instead of paying the same price for the parking deck a whole block down. Way inconvenient.

But that's all for now. I got sidetracked while writing this, big time. I should have been finished with this thing like 3 hours ago. I even had photoshop open to make more icons. But now I just want to turn off my laptop and go to sleep. lol I got epically distracted. haha.

Saturday's gonna be hectic. I'll tell you about it tomorrow. :D

peace! <3

- Raeven

P.S. - I MISS/LOVE MY CARRRR. *0*

I finally somehow got the gist of icon making. My biggest problems were size proportions and stuff. And I discovered the wonderfulness of psd files! Thanks to Gwynbean. I have her to thank for the Photoshop program too. I actually think it's more convenient and better-looking than the other one I had. :D

I spent too long on these earlier today, when I should have been cleaning my room and packing for uni. I leave tomorrow on a train at 7pm. hee! And just when I've gotten addicted to icon making! T.T Now I have something to look forward to while I'm on the train at least. I pretty much have everything I need packed, and things that aren't packed are organized and easily packable. I'm going back alone, so I've been trying desperately to save all the money I have for back-to-school shopping. If I don't spend too much on food on the train, I should end up with at least $480. I wanna buy make-up, plates and kitchen necessities(from ikea), clothes, groceries & toiletries. In my head, I've calculated how much I should spend on each category and it looks like I'll have enough, but it adds up crazy fast once you're shopping. :/ I can do it! Okay,I should go to sleep now. It's funny; lately I've been staying up this late every night. I keep the tv on Disney, so Little Einstein's on when I go to sleep. lol Playhouse Disney's on! That means it's too frikkin late to be up!

Goodnight/Good Morning! xD <3

be blessed.

- Raeven

 WHAT 
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT 
WHAT
WHAT
WHAT


LEMME TELL YOU SUMFINGGGGGGGGGGGG
SHINEE IS THE NEW ELITE. DBSK'S GONE AND SHINEE'S TAKEN OVER. FOR REALZ. <3



Gwyn and I DIED together. This is history. Behold. omg. WOW. 

LOOOOVEEEE! MYNEWJAM. <3333

Goodnight. 

Keke, I'm gonna dump a HUGE POOP off my hustle and bustle tomorrow. It'll be epically overwhelming and hectic. You may not be able to handle it. It's just that crazeh. It'll explain my unorganized college schedule, friend DJURAMAH, and so much more jazz. I can't wait for this academic year to end, so I can go home and sleep normally and eat abundantly without having to worry about moneyz, and just hangin with friends. AND OF COURSE, SEE 2PM!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 I'm going to profess my love to Taecyeon, and we are going to be married. *nod* His heart will fall for mine. It's the truth. 

But then again, maybe I don't want to be married to a famous person. T.T But I do want to marry him, just not his fame. keke

OMO, F(X) IS MY SECRET LOVE. I love them. I love their personalities, their closeness, and their voices, and their dance skills, and their style. I just love them. Everything they release, I like, and that's pretty rare for me. I almost cried when their tracks were released on Youtube, and when I saw the teaser for their new mv. THEY'RE SO COOL! xD 

Of the VERY FEW girl groups that I tolerate, 2NE1 and f(x) are THE FAVES of mine. <3333 The ones I admire in some kind of way. They gots the style. They make good music, they have talent, and they have swag. 

Now, back to the unrelenting strain of my homework. Peace out, doods. I've missed LJ homework *kisses*. It's literally had me running to the library and kept me isolated in my room. 

Dumb Baking Science; insane Menu Planning; tedious Leadership; slow Sanitation. T____________________________T END NOWWWWWWW. 


be blessed. <3 

- Raeven 

It's been a long time! Spring term is beginning tomorrow! And I have academic classes for the first time this year. It's pretty exciting. I don't have to get up super early except on Wednesdays, I don't have to wear my chef outfit except on Wednesdays, and I don't have classes at all on Mondays. 

My classes this term: 

Baking Science (same hours as lab classes: 7am-1pm) on Wed. 
Leadership (NONONO - insert Jokwon here - ) on Tuesdays and Thursdays 
Food & Beverage Cost Control - on Tues. and Thurs. 
Sanitation on Tues. 

I don't know what to expect, but hopefully, it's just a repeat of CCS, if not easier. I heard there's alot of writing and craziness in Baking Science and that Cost Control class doesn't help it at all, but I'm just hoping it's something like Mrs. Carter's workload. I can deal with that if I had to. 

Over Spring Break, I practically had the campus to myself. The first few days made me stir crazy with the loneliness. I talked to myself more than normal. And I think I was emotionally vulnerable, but I was fine after the break started to come to an end. Ariel, Olivia, and Alexis(another Alexis. We call this one Sandycheeks <3) went to stay in Lake Norman for three days in a Marriot hotel. They invited me to stay with them for free, but I just stayed in my dorm. I wanted to get things done, but I didn't do anything, really. lol I was supposed to work on the book, but I sat around with the file open.  NOTHING WAS DONE. I took over the whole common room for two nights and watched tv in there, played sims. It was great. But I didn't even keep up with Rosetta Stone. I got it to learn Korean. And I AM going to learn it. I'm currently on Unit 2, and so far, so good. I know some colors, I can ask "What is this?"; I can count to 6, and read some words, so it's coming along. I enjoy doing it. It's fun. That must mean I'm obsessed with Korea. I am. lol 

I'm gonna dye my hair. It's happening Wednesday. I'm afraid, because it's gonna be lighter and louder, but my biggest worry is if it doesn't compliment my skin. I'm going with a red. The red Tyra Banks sported a few times. 



Yeah. That's all I want to say today. That, and I've made an observation. Stasha, Gwyn, and I are attractive singles. Like, we've been single all our lives! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE! Find us, perfect boys! My goodness. >.>;;; Yes, I'm frustrated. We're getting old! pffft.

Anyways. Oh yeah. While I was alone last week, I sang a song by James Fauntleroy and made my voice chipmunk. It sounds all Disney at the end, but I think it's pretty cute. lol And I improvised on like, two words, because James Fauntleroy doesn't seem to have lyrics for any of his songs, so. . . bear with me. I had fun doing it, so I think I'm gonna do it often. heehee! <3 Listen prease! 

http://mediafire.com/file/?myzmzzmytym


be blessed. 

- Raeven