haerae: (private)
every day now, i go out of my way to stay out of the house, as late as i can, until it's time to go to bed.
or until i'm sure she'll be in her room.
for a few months, it got this way: me not wanting to cross her path. the awkwardness of running into her, of having to say something, even if it's just hello.

i'm convinced i'm going out of my mind.
i didn't know losing a close friend would mean i would lose myself too.
when did i let this imaginary nesha tell me lies about myself that grew my insecurities? why do i care so much how the real nesha thinks about me and my actions? why don't i want to disappoint her? why should i care? why should i care??

will this ever go away? even after i move out?
is it possible for God to heal me of this too?

this feels so bad. this feels so wrong.

this is not who i am.
and i know that.
i need to keep telling myself that. so that i don't forget that this is not who i am.
hey you, this is not who you are.
you will get past this. you will move on. it's in your Father's hands. He will not let you fall. He's there to pick you up. everything will make sense later. right now, just be in the now. don't worry about what's next.

just rest in His peace. it's going to be okay.

. . . thank you Jesus.
haerae: (Default)

I'm not even gonna update my journal, as much as it sooooo needs to be. Nope, I forgot to thank Rachel for the lj gift she gave to me, so, THANK YOU, RACHEL FOR THE GOPHER! xD <3

I have very few lj gifts, you see. The cookies and milk I often see on other people's journals get me a little excited and sometimes a little jealous. I wonder if people actually pay for gifts and give them to people, and if they do, then  it's pretty special, so when I got this pomeranian puppy from krissaur and this gopher from jonghyung, I felt pretty stinkin special!

So thank you again for the lj gifts! <3

P.S.: My gopher's mischievous. It frikkin moved. I went back to my profile window and that gopher fluttered. It thought I wasn't lookin, but I caught it. Rachel, you sent me a bewitched gopher.

AND there's lj games now?! I spotted a sims one too. I'll probably be on that thing later tonight. lol
haerae: (Default)
 After a session of my sims 2 tonight, I impulsively decided I wanted to nab some pics out of my ridiculously large sim pic folder and share some with you. Because I frikkin love Maxis for creating such a frikkin awesome game, okay?! If you wanna be a hater, don't enjoy the pretty pixels. My sis and I will enjoy them all to ourselves. :p

I guess I can say this random post is in favor of my playing Sims 2 for 7 years now. @__@ Wow, I just counted. That's 3 years from a DECADE! ;__; Well I guess it would already be a decade or even more if I include the original Sims game. I got that game the same year it came out. So I'm a devoted Sim fan. I wish I'd recorded my activity on the very first Sims game, and then the first few years I had the Sims 2 game and see how much it's evolved, but eh, I remember those days, so I don't really need to know.

It still amazes me how Sims 2 ceases to bore me. The Sims 3 came out a few years ago and I barely touch that game. People still faithfully play Sims 2 and make custom content for it as often as Omonatheydidn't updates! It's insane! 

But anyway, while people have World of Warcraft, Starcraft, and whatevs that Second Life game is all about, I'm with the Sims, yo! The best simulation game on the planet!!!

Hope ya enjoy my simmehs!!!
Don't make fun of me. T.T
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥




WARNING: 9.4MB/38 pictures w/some pixelated hottie boys under the cut teehee!
It's mah digital photographeh! <3 )
haerae: (let me think)
"Hrmm, I'm trying to break some procrastination habits by getting this paper done 2 days early and I still haven't started. Right now I have nothing to do, but I still would rather play Solitaire or check my facebook than start this thing. lol"

This is what I posted on my FB status about an hour ago and since then I've written a fancy sentence on a once blank document that hasn't been named or saved yet. So far so good! lol not. But I've decided I have plenty of time to do it tomorrow when I'm REALLY bored at workstudy tomorrow evening. I pray I actually do it then. Or maybe even before! Then I can at least say I've written the paper a day early. :)

hehe, I'm really tempted to watch another episode of Kimi No Todoke before I go to bed. It's exactly like the manga, too, which means I'll be reading the rest when I'm done with the anime. lol

Yesterday I was supposed to have explained more about my future job, but yeah, it didn't happen. (ΘεΘ;)

My worries are eased now though because I was called by the hiring manager Friday morning saying I'd start my training on Tuesday after class. I'll have 24 training hours. :D I'm excited about starting, but I'm sure I'll get tired of it after a few weeks. hehe

And I need some khaki pants for work. I don't wear regular pants anymore. I almost always wear skinnies if they're ever long pants, so I googled where I'd find khaki skinnies. lol I'll be going to Target tomorrow.

Didn't do too much this weekend. Gwyn and I went out a few times, mostly to just eat somewhere. We did go to Northlake Mall yesterday, and that was enjoyable, as always. But dang, it's too cold!!! I don't even want to leave the apartment, man! It's supposed to snow again Tuesday, and Gwyn and I both are already done with seeing snow, lol.

We got more junk food at Walmart. I also got some more pens and paper for class, some poster board to tack up on a bare wall in my room for some more flare, and a desk calendar for organizing my life! haha.

I wanted to fill up the poster boards with doodles and nonsense, so I bought some sharpies too. Isn't that exciting?!

It's almost the end of the academic year and Gwyn and I still haven't figured out where we're gonna live over the summer. I have a job now so I'm totally staying in Charlotte this summer. But, of course, I won't have City View to live in during that time, so I need to start seriously finding a place and having one soon so I won't be stuck when the time comes, ya know?

And there's this lottery the school's doing for 3rd and 4th years students who would like to have a spot in City View next year, and there's a $50 fee to have your name randomly selected. That's a waste of money if you're not even guaranteed a spot. I don't want to live there next year anyway. :/

Apartments are really cheap near UNCC, so getting one may be easier than I'm thinking, but I still kinda want to rent a house if we get enough roommates. I say "but" alot. ugh.

Anyway, I'm gonna go now. I need to go to bed soon. :D

Peace for now! <3

- Raeven
haerae: (TOP whatz?fun face)

(I don't understand gif making. I put text on this gif and it freaks out on me, so it's pretty glitchy looking, but you get the gist, right? ;D)
This gif would've been more exciting if I'd posted it the day after I posted my last entry, which was when the live-changing moment happened!!!

XDDDDDDDD I'm too sleepy to explain much, but I will tomorrow. Just know that I FINALLY HAVE A JOB. MY FIRST REAL JOB EVER. At a Food Lion grocery store. In the bakery. As a cake decorator. *0*

<3 <3 I haven't gotten a call back yet since I went there, for my schedule and when I start training and stuff, but she said I had the job, and she can't take back what she said, right? Especially after we shook hands right??? :/ I just can't wait to start. I need to make money, yo ! ! ! !

I hope she calls me tomorrow.

Until then!

be blessed. ♥

- Raeven
haerae: (keep yoez headz down)


Ugh, that's all I can think right now. If someone would forget everyone and everything else for a moment and hire me PLEASE. Then I can finally feel financially stable and independent and all those jibz.

MY GOODNESS! I know you're hiring Harris Teeter, and you too Food Lion. Be considerate and train someone with no experience so she can GAIN experience. =___=

Looking for jobs are frustrating as heck, especially when the job's in your hands but the hiring managers working there are taking their good ol' time calling people for interviews. UGHUGHUGHUGH!!!!!

I hate calling to remind them. I'm not one to hound. *sigh*


My midterm grades aren't where I want them either. hehe Two classes are B's, but the other two. . . >.> I need to start studying big time.


Peace out for now. :)

- Raeven
haerae: (2pm boys peekin)
I should've posted a few days ago, cuz quite a bit's gone down. :p

2011's starting off very well:

♦ I'm actively job searching
♦ I'm really enjoying Gwyn living here with me. She's my excuse for going everywhere. :p
♦ I get to hang out with Rachel on Thursdays (and some random nights)- to noraebang.
♦ I communicate with ahjusshis.

This year is the first of many that I've made friends with a man more than a decade my senior, without it being creepy and uncomfortable. Well I guess there's really only one. His name's Jaemin and he's the bartender at the noraebang we go to on Thursdays. He only works on Wednesdays and Thursdays, so that's when we've been going lately. He's told us it's pretty popular on the weekends, but I'm a little hesitant about going on those days since he won't be there. It's less awkward when he's there because he talks to us, and he's funny. I like him because he doesn't try anything with us. So far, he's a the impression of a sweet man whose only surprised that we know so much about Korea. And if he never liked us, he's doing a fine job acting like he enjoys our company. So in return, Gwyn and I'd like to bake something for him and the lady who cooks in the back. lol

The last Thursday we went, the one before the most recent, a group of peeps came in for a birthday party. After getting a room, they migrated to the front to use the free karaoke machine and drink and stuff. Long story short: bday girl's brother Sam was drunk and interested in us and asked for our numbers, ended up only wanting Rachel, before sending creepy desperate texts to Gwyn first, and ultimately sending even creepier texts AND FB messages to Rachel. He's convinced he loves her, lol.

Anyway, Jaemin already didn't like him because he was a Korean who couldn't write and read his own language. Because he was americanized. lol So when Rachel told him how creepy Sam ended up being, he said he'd beat the ssshhh--- out of him, call him motherfather(not in those words) and you know, kick his buns badly.

Side-note: Elderly people are precious <3 Most times.

Wow, I got sidetracked. Could've been finished with this hours ago but I'm sitting in Amelie's and attractive people keep pouring in. Then I started listening to music and instantly wanted to edit the rap song me and Donny did. I may have ADD guys. :3

So um, now I'm gonna make this even shorter. On that same Thursday night, another OLDEROLDER ahjusshi started talking to us, and it was all fine and dandy talk until he got drunk. O_O Um, he was like, petting Gwyn and I, then he petted me more, and Gwyn saved me with a glanced at Jae who said something to the man politely in Korean and he magically backed off. He gets major points for that, yall.

Today, we met up with Rachel in Conchord Mills Mall to see Black Swan. Went for a showing at 1:15. It was VERY well done, but also very disturbing, dark, CREEPY. Some parts were pretty sexy, and others were painful to watch(for me). I was waiting for some bones to break.


I hope it wins some awards. I think the leading actress did phenomenal *.* phenomenal. GUH. I felt all of her pain.

Yesterday, Gwyn and I made whoopies. Multi-colored heart shaped whoopie pies. Some were just made of white cake and vanilla buttercream, the others were chocolate with peanut butter buttercream. THOSE WERE BOSSIN.




There's a cupcake competition coming up and I think I wanna sign up. If I'm allowed, I want to make two entries. One for appearance - the rainbow cupcakes, and one for taste - choc cupcakes w/ the pb icing. <3 Possibleh.

And that is all! Peacebeans!

be blessed.

- Raeven
haerae: (keep yoez headz down)
I caught another cold. This usually doesn't happen to me so close to the other one I had back in November, even though the one in November was a weak one (Again, I rarely ever get sick). This one's a little stronger. It actually came with a fever, and I'm at work right now, shiverin my buns off. I'm a little warmer now cuz I put my jacket on, but yeah, I'm not looking forward to the walk home.

You know when you're not feeling well and you have a fever of any level and your skin's just sensitive? Like, you don't want your skin to rub up on the clothes you're wearing or anything? That's how I feel now. And my body's a little richetty. My head's swimming, and my voice is low. :P

Hehe, the one cool thing I like when I have a cold though is that while my voice is smoky from being sore, it makes me sing better. At least, that's what I think in the shower. I wish my singing voice was like this everyday! :D

I went to all my classes today except for Macroeconomics, my last class in the evening, overslept during my nap between classes and was late for the Psychology test. But overall, the day was better than I thought it would be. I thought I wouldn't want to get out of bed this morning, but after taking a shower, I was fine for most of the day though my face hurt --maybe sinuses?). Gwyn and I caught this thing together. She caught it first, then I picked it up just yesterday. keke.

I don't know how well I did on the test, but I'm not too worried. I've been doing good so far, gettin A's on my quizzes. One thing that surprised me though, was that even though I was 15 minutes late, literally rushed out of my apartment to get there, coming into a classroom to everyone stopping their tests to stare at me for a second, I had no anxiety. That's a first in a very long time! A couple years ago, I picked up this restlessness in organized crowded places. I didn't feel comfortable in the classroom or any other kinds of gatherings where you had to sit down and focus attention on an authority in front of you. Actually, the one thing I worried about on my first days of academic classes were that I may end up with a seat in the front, close to the front, or dead center, away from a door I can slip away to if I needed to.

Every day, at some point of the alotted time in the classroom (if I'm feeling uncomfortable, which is most of the time in these situations), I'd get so restless and anxious that it was hard to concentrate and I thought everyone was looking at me, that they thought I was crazy. It's far-fetched, but I've programmed myself to think this way for too long. Now I'm trying to program it back, but it's not gonna happen all at once. I'm not going to settle with saying that being around people makes me anxious. It's an easy excuse shy people can get away with, but it's not going to be me.

But anyway, yes, I was surprised. Maybe the fact that I just woke up, was a little hazy in the head, and I was too strung on being there in enough time for the test(that my professor hadn't kicked me out for being so late) to care. All the other times I've been put in pressing situations like that I've freaked out inside. But this time it didn't . So now I ask myself why can't I not care like I did today? Why don't I just tell myself my education's more important than how I'm looking in the classroom or anywhee else? I'm gonna practice that. I'm gonna focus on that and see what happens. :D (hmph!)

Rachel came over and picked Gwyn and I up to go out somewhere a few hours ago. We went to Amelie's and played card games and talked. It was very enjoyable! xD They dropped me off at the library when I had to go to work and hit the movies. They're seeing Tangled right now. I wanted to see that!;_;

After I got dropped off was when my body decided to be a meanie. So now I'm feeling like a grandpa all old and crippled in his rocking chair (envision this with me, folks) Oh, and I lost my key card again. lol I called Amelie's and they didn't see it, so maybe I left it back home. PPPPRRREAZZZZEEE BE BACK HOME!


P.S. - The girl who works with me on my shifts always has her guy friend talking to her in deep convo across the desk for hours! He's alot like me in alot of ways. He thinks about relationships like me, actually wants a friend before a gf. I've been nosy with their convos, but they gladly let me in, so I've been talking with them, killing time.

At one point, my coworker left to get her things and he said the guy I checked out dvds to was flirting with me:

me: "lol, I know, but ermurgh (sideways glance) - I wasn't interested.
him: "probably wanted you to watch those movies with him."
me: "Yeah, no, not gonna happen keke"
*cackles together*
me: "Yeah, I'm kinda picky. My friends have started to say that about me."
him: "but that's good. You know what you want and you shouldn't settle for less"
*I nod nod nod*
him: "Don't let your friends say that about you because they've probably moved to fast with past relationships"
*screech* *clear throat*
me: "oh no, the friends I do have are very close to me, they know me. When they said I was picky, they meant it in a good way"
*then he nods, approves*
him: "oh ok, well then that's very good!"

It was a really nice convo. I APPROVE OF GUYS LIKE THIS! But I'm not really attracted to this one. >.> I mean, we can totally talk in the future, and I say whatever happens (with any guy I talk to),happens. If it's meant to be, fine. But yeah, we just talked. :) And what I love most is that he wasn't flirting at all, just wanted to talk. I LOVE THAT.

So bai for now! A mission for a part time profession is underway for Gwyn and I tomorrow. WE WILL BOTH COME OUT OF IT IN TRIUMPH AND VICTORY!!!

lovebeans. I'm out. <3333333

OH YEAH. TVXQ's Keep Your Head Down. It was THA BOSS. BOSSIN IT UP AND SERVIN IT TO JYJ. Whatever the media says about it, I know it was for JYJ and I'm glad they did it. It'll hopefully knock some gay out of Yoochun and make me love him a little again. Or it'll just make him cower in a corner and a cling to Jaejoong wondering what trash they've made Kanye West rap to and why Homin came out singing like the gourmet biscuits they've always been while JYJ has two of the best singers and sound like a sad outdated can of Pilsbury dough.

Kay, now I'm really out. xD

- Raeven
haerae: (Seulong pink hair)
After cleaning the kitchen from a catastrophe of colors, I'm back in my room with pictures of the rainbow cupcakes I made for Gwyn's birthday/New Years bash in Orlando tomorrow. God forbid a sharp turn in the car topples and ruins my hard work.

I wanted to pipe Happy Birthday in hangul on them, but it was getting late, and I didn't have a small enough tip to use for the letters, so I think I ended up writing Happy on one of them, then half of another word on another cupcake. It was lame, but hey, I wrote some hangul! On a cupcake! Yay me! :D hehe

I can't believe this new phone takes pictures as good as these ones. And even better after I finally peeled off the protective sticker from the lense, lol. Then I was like "O.O whoa. whoaaa" 

I cropped and brightened these in photoshop: 






Tomorrow(or should I say today) is my last whole day home before I go back to school on Saturday. Gwyn and I have a flight to catch at 7pm that night because train tickets were sold out (;_;) Not happy about taking a plane, btw. And it's been a while since I've flew at night, so now I won't be able to see what's goin on out the window. NOT COOL. SIGHHHHH.

Nana gave me these vacuum bags for my clothes so I can fit more stuff into my luggage, then I have to get all my lotions, liquids, even my toothpaste, sent back to my apartment because airports are ANAL VOLCANOES. :<

I haven't officially packed all my things, but I'm hoping I'll have enough time before it's time to head to Orlie to be more prepared to leave. :)

be blessed! ♥

- Raeven
haerae: (G O (he's hot))
I just changed my layout, and all by myself! haha, I looked up all these tutorials for different things, found a pretty plain layout code on an lj comm and messed around with the css code box. Wasn't as bad as I thought! Now I won't try to pester friends about hacking into my account to change my layout for me.

I feel like I should backtrack on what I've been doing with my life. That'll have to wait yet again, hopefully until only tomorrow. I'm undergoing some revamping of everything. hehe, I'm bored with all my online accounts. I just feel like I've been too mediocre with stuff, so it's time to learn some new skills and be consistent. It's probably going to end up being one of my resolutions for the new year.

I really cherish this journal. Every day that passes, I'm reminded that I'm neglecting to update this thing. It could be so simple, yet I'm too lazy to upload a few pictures and share my thoughts. Most times I need new things to motivate me.

If I get tired of my itunes playlist, I'll avoid using my computer altogether sometimes.
When I get bored with my lj layout, I neglect posting.
When my room's disorganized and messy, it affects my motivation to do homework.
(it's how I roll :/)

It's weird, because I never used to like change much. I loved routine. In some aspects, I still do, but I think alot of it changed because of how I live now. Since college, I don't really have a permanent home. I lived in a dorm last year; live in an apartment owned by the university now; and I plan to get a house with Gwyn next year. My current schedule back in Charlotte's ever-changing and busy, and spontaneous. Never thought I'd like that, but right now I do.

I've put my plans on getting a job in full swing. My work-study job in the library isn't doing much of anything. As a full-time college student with a 20hr/2 wk job, I'm eligible for a max of $200 in food stamps each month. That really comes in handy when living with 3 other roomies who are as short of money as I am.

I actually took my sweet old time on a resume based on my culinary experiences and gave them to a few bakeries. One of them was an authentic French bakery in a hipster part of Charlotte called Amelie's Bakery. I ADORED the place. It was the only original bakery I'd ever physically visited aside from the awesome ones you see in magazines and cookbooks. Unfortunately, the place looked over staffed, and the dress of the staff was very informal and laid back. It was a turn off. I don't really want to work there anymore.

I tried a bread bakery and another ritzy one uptown, but no callback yet. Gave up on the bakeries and applied for a cookware store in South Park mall, where an insanely beautiful creature named James worked. Apparently, they'd already hired two more people just that morning. Uh-huh, yeah, I'm gonna believe that one. >.>

Applied at Best Buy and Target the other day, called and was told to check again after January (*heavy sigh*), and applied for 4 locations at Harris Teeter online. I'm calling them tomorrow. PLEASE GOD LET ME HAVE THIS ONE ;_;

So yeah, uh huh, Gwyn came back with me to Charlotte after Thanksgiving break. Things went well and she's staying with me for the rest of this academic year, I believe xD. We both want to get jobs and save up for the future ahead. Hopefully, by this summer I'll have a job, which'll be just the excuse to stay in Charlotte and put in a deposit for a house for rent. Houses for rent are ridiculously reasonable in NC. It's crazy. A 4-bedroom house split between four people would be as less as $250 a person. And it may include some scrumptious hardwood floors! *0*

So basically, I have big plans, even bigger dreams. Though I've been in my room all day today, even got up super late, I'm very happy with life right now. Maybe it's also because it seems the kpop realm is doing so many boombastic things to me I just want to shake, cry, thrash, and crash.

♦ I mean, dbsk's technically back (with just Changmin and Yunho), but still. I just saw the teasers for their comeback in Jan. 5 and I can't even. . .


(no really, it is, lol)

When I watched the teaser, I heard the familiarity of the dbsk I always loved and miss, and if I think about how all of 5 of them could've been in this, I really could cry. I don't think people understand when I tell them about a Korean pop sensation called Dong Bang Shin Ki. These boys freakin impacted my whole life! I was so proud of them; loved how close they were. Seeing them broken up like this really hurts. Even after things have been kind of resolved between JYJ and Homin, I don't think it's hitting me until now, until after homin's coming back with all these fierce and powerful photoshoots, and all these fierce and powerful teasers, and this fierce and powerful song.

DBSK was my first love ♥ My first boyfriend. The boyfriend who died unexpectedly and left me with alot of questions and bittersweet memories, then came back as a friendly ghost to stay by my side, while in the back of my mind, I'm knowing it won't be the same.

But what bothers me most is not knowing what they're feeling about all of this. If I knew they were all happy, I wouldn't care whether they split or not. That's all I want to know. :3

♦ And then GD&TOP popped up with their jammin album and mv. And Knock Out's gonna be the next mv.

♦ And Big Bang's gonna have an album released soon, whenever that is

♦ And 2PM's still hotsaucing it with everything they do

♦ And I 2NE1's on fire with all their mv releases this year (all of them eyepoppin and bootybumpin)

♦ And I feel like Taeyang's gonna blow up in America soon. That's my prediction. That anticipation has me bubbling up like a heavily carbonated soda, man

Wow, I need to go to bed. It's 4am.
On Monday, Gwyn picked Stasha and me up to stay the night. We watched Inception. I saw it for the first time, and it was crazy. I lived it. SO VERY GREAT. And crazy. <3 We also went to McDonalds for a good hour, talkin it up about everything. Well, mostly boys. And it got on some pretty deep levels, some sexy levels. lol
The next morning, we got up and dressed to go to the mall.

Gwyn chillin on a bench outside the mall before the old creeper sitting across from us
asked for her age and if she had a boyfriend. I mean, really man? Ugh. I'm glad we were there to rescue her!! jk jk, I'm sure she'd have been perfectly fine without us. :p

Rockin' the Pinkage wigs. <333333

a few more pics & the rest of meh entry here ♥ )
haerae: (padraig bed)
I had to do it.
I had to reformat my computer. -__-
But I hadn't failed in the process like I've previously done the last few times I had to reinstall. I actually backed up everything I needed.
Thank GOD!my laptop was functional enough for backing up to be possible, otherwise I would have been shaking and crying in the corner of my room, making dents and scratches in the walls, and scaring my peers at work with my more-prominant-than-usual eyebags and coon circles.

But now I'm refreshed! I was off today, so I got up when I wanted and continued the reinstallation, vacuumed the apartment, got chinese food with Shan. Today was pretty glorius.

It became even more so when we got back. Definitely not because there was a surprise apt. inspection and my room was locked out (it's part of their procedure to lock your room door after inspection when you're not at home, for unknown reasons >.>), but because when I went to the front desk to get someone to let me back into my room, I found out my package had come in.

That's right folks! The Pinkage wig I ordered off of Ebay on October 17th came in today! I don't think I mentioned it at all, but yeah. That's what I did.
I tried it on and it's GAHJUSS!!! It's thick and luscious, and totally worth my money. It's too fun to wear, and you can do so much with it!


I must post pics of my wearing it. Trust me, I took too many :p. It shipped out on Oct. 18th and came in on Nov. 1st. So actually, whoever was working the mail at the front desk, never put a slip in my mailbox telling me the package came in, so it came in earlier than I thought. :pppp

---HAHAHA! I'm in the library again. Working. And two guys come in while another's leaving out. They do their man-shakes and then one guys says to guyleavingout, "how's your face lookin'?" And then he touches his face like a girl would do, pretty intimate, but quick. Quick enough for the awkward gayness/kindaness to be ignored. I guess the quickness of it, and the way the other two reacted to it(which was no to react at all), just made the moment BROMANCE.

Good stuff. Nigahiga turned hot on me! Jay's always been hot. keke <3

Fall term's almost over already, which means my internship's coming to a close, thank God. I've enjoyed the experience, and I'm glad it hasn't scared me away from the profession. I can see myself doing something similar to this in the future, but my weakness is most definitely customer service. I choke when I talk to customers. If I don't choke, my voice is too quiet for the customer to hear. It's gotten a teensy bit better. Teensy. I'd rather be in the back, but if I must be in the front, just don't expect me to speak. I'll be your busy worker. :3

My friend Nesha got accepted for a co-op internship in Pennslyvania, at a ski resort. She's a culinary major. They'll provide housing for her, and they'll probably pay her $9/hr. T.T This just reminded how easy my opportunity to go somewhere else for a term was, while being taken care of, at that. *sigggghhhhh* But what can I do. My senior year also requires another internship, and I may just study abroad for that one. If not, I'm going going somewhere way across the US. I'm itching to do that.

I want to bake for the holidays. You know, the good ol' traditional Southern desserts for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I think it'll be a nice thank you gift for Tisha and Mrs. Sonia to give them a few cakes to go with their dinner. Maybe an almond pound cake, red velvet cake, and a carrot cake. KJ wants a pecan pie, but I told him he has to supply the moolah! :DD Next week should be fun.

Welp, tomorrow fur shur. :)

Goodnight, all, and be blessed! <33

- Raeven
haerae: (Chansung)
I'm back in Charlotte now! xD I've been back since yesterday actually.
The train ride up was enjoyable other than the unrelenting AC that seemed to blow my way on full blast. omg, I froze my butt off. They provide nothing but pillows on a train. No blankets. It's what they need. o.o.

So I'm staying at Tisha's house again like I did last year. She and her family have helped me out alot. xD And her little son Xavier's seriously the brightest boy I've ever known! The kid just shouldn't know or say the things he does at his age. It's amazing. I want a son like him. :D

I've been chillin for most of today. I woke up late(nothing new there) and took my time getting dressed to go out. I went to an auto place to replace the windshield wiper blades on my car. The guy who helped me pick them out was gay, and it's nothing new these days, but I just thought it was interesting that a gay guy worked at an auto parts store. >.> Maybe it's just me. lol He was super sweet. :)

Yesterday, after I went to Mrs. Sonia's house to get my car, I drove downtown to City View to visit Cyril(the only one I know whose moved in), and was glomped in the hall by another guy friend (who disappeared somewhere soon after). Cyril was on the phone with Yaz, standing out in the balcony, and when he let me through the slide door, I coulda fallen off the balcony. The view was AMAZING! I'm soooooo jealous! I told him I'd be at his balcony so much, they can pretty much just call it mine. :p I want itttt! ! ! ! ! ! You can see the whole freaking city! ughhhhhhhh it's delicioussssss.

We talked to Yaz on speaker phone for a while about how we're gonna cook up a storm at our apartment. Cyril and Ten said they'd be there to eat our food, and blah blah. It was a good time. xDD Cyril walked me back to the parking deck down the block, because I can't park in City View as a visitor, and because it was dark and late and I sure as heck am not walking alone. :T

Parking in City View is full. It filled up as fast as a dbsk concert would. I was too late, so I'm thinking about paying for monthly parking in the public parking lot across the street instead of paying the same price for the parking deck a whole block down. Way inconvenient.

But that's all for now. I got sidetracked while writing this, big time. I should have been finished with this thing like 3 hours ago. I even had photoshop open to make more icons. But now I just want to turn off my laptop and go to sleep. lol I got epically distracted. haha.

Saturday's gonna be hectic. I'll tell you about it tomorrow. :D

peace! <3

- Raeven

haerae: (Default)

lookitdis! <3 )
haerae: (sim: padraig bed)
I finally somehow got the gist of icon making. My biggest problems were size proportions and stuff. And I discovered the wonderfulness of psd files! Thanks to Gwynbean. I have her to thank for the Photoshop program too. I actually think it's more convenient and better-looking than the other one I had. :D

I spent too long on these earlier today, when I should have been cleaning my room and packing for uni. I leave tomorrow on a train at 7pm. hee! And just when I've gotten addicted to icon making! T.T Now I have something to look forward to while I'm on the train at least. I pretty much have everything I need packed, and things that aren't packed are organized and easily packable. I'm going back alone, so I've been trying desperately to save all the money I have for back-to-school shopping. If I don't spend too much on food on the train, I should end up with at least $480. I wanna buy make-up, plates and kitchen necessities(from ikea), clothes, groceries & toiletries. In my head, I've calculated how much I should spend on each category and it looks like I'll have enough, but it adds up crazy fast once you're shopping. :/ I can do it! Okay,I should go to sleep now. It's funny; lately I've been staying up this late every night. I keep the tv on Disney, so Little Einstein's on when I go to sleep. lol Playhouse Disney's on! That means it's too frikkin late to be up!

Goodnight/Good Morning! xD <3

be blessed.

- Raeven
haerae: (Ukiss together)
Yeah, that's right. I'm supposed to be sleeping because I have to get up at 6am for a morning flight back home, but I made gifs instead. I just learned and I'm having too much fun. Now I wanna screencap everything I own and make gifs out of it. 

I really have to go to bed though, so I'll just post these five SHINee ones I made. I wanna capture every moment I loved in this mv. These five are just the beginning. xDD I hope you like them. I enjoy them tons. <3 



3 more dood lookit! )


OMG, so it's been rainy for a few days here and I've been sleeping pretty lightly since my visit. I woke up to the light sounds of rain against the shudders of the window right near my bed, but I dozed, so when I woke up a little, half asleep, I was sure it wasn't raining anymore. So you can imagine my sheer horror when thunder cracked right above the guest house, vibrated the whole CONCRETE STONE WHATEVERTHISPLACEISMADEOF building. I LITERALLY rose and flew out of my bed like the living dead, wide eyed and dry-sobbing, fumbling for the locks on my door, failing to open it quickly, and dashing to my dad's door after finally getting it open and knocking frantically. I THOUGHT THERE WAS A FLIPPIN EXPLOSION NOLIEFORSERIOUSWHATTHECRAAAAPPPPP. omg, you don't even know. I've NEVER heard thunder like that before. 

When my dad opened the door, he'd been asleep of course, but he obviously heard it too: 
*knock knock* 
*door opens*
*sleepy dad emerges*
Raeven - "dad, d-did you hear that?" O__O;;;;
Dad - *squints* "Raeven, it's just thunder."
--after he'd said that, thunder hadn't even crossed my mind. Then I realized everything--
Raeven - "oooooohhhhhhhh" *walks backward to my room sheepishly* "I thought it was like, an explosion or something"
*dad laughs* 
Dad - "What'd you do, fly out of bed to knock on my door? The safest place--if there was an explosion--would have been in your room"
Raeven -" well, I thought it was coming toward me. I was just trying to get out. I was half-asleep when I heard it"
*dad laughs*
Dad - *smiles* "go back to sleep" 
Raeven - "k bye" 

I went back to sleep and all I could think about was that god-awful sound. I mean, if it were a real explosion, -__- so scary. 

Anyways!!! I'm going on a plane tomorrow. I'm not excited about it. I go from St. Thomas to Miami, then Miami to Orlando. Two flights. *sigh* I'm praying I'll be home safely. :3 I hate flying, guys. T____________________T I HATE IT.

be blessed. <3

P.S. Does anyone know how to add text to a gif through Photoshop Image Ready? It looked simple, but the animation won't move after I put text on it for some reason. It's no biggie, but it'd be nice to know. 
haerae: (SHINee w/ baby)


Gwyn and I DIED together. This is history. Behold. omg. WOW. 


haerae: (2pm friends)
 Haha, I had an unannounced hiatus, because I'm lazy like that. 

I finished my first year of JWU successfully and it's obviously Summer. I spent most of those days in my room, sleeping in and raiding the internetz, and catching up with my lovely buddies! <3 Alot of stuff happened, but theres too much to talk about, so I'll just bring things up as I go. Lemme just list a few highlights: 

Gwyn found a norebang in Orlando! She went there first with her new buds and then Stasha and I went the next weekend. There were asians; they had the latest Kpop hits; it was amazing. Just like the ones we see in the dramas! I freaked! Very fun, but pretty chaotic after midnight. lol Drunken madness!!! 

I went to ATL to see 2PM! OMG OGM OMG OMG OMG OMGOMG OMG O      M         G      O   M G     O     MG -----> Yeah Oh yasss. Talk about sexyyyyyyyyyyyyy. The concert was THA BOMB. It was incredibly hot and sweaty too. My first ever concert. I really thought I'd faint when I actually saw them, but I didn't. Oh God, imagine how disastrous that would be. I think my body'd just be trampled to the ground if I did. hehe
We were the first in line, somehow became somewhat of homies with Mark, and Gwyn and I actually spotted Chansung and Wooyoung(or maybe it was Junho because I saw orange hair) walking across the street to Centennial Park all incog and snazz. They almost got past us all without us fans knowing, but someone finally gave it away and started running for them. They weren't allowed to take pics, so they came back empty handed. I managed to get a pick of Chansung's back, and  it would've been a better pic if my hands weren't shaking for the camera(lol). But anywayz, it was a moment to remember. Now I need Big Bang and 2NE1 to come to America. I hope S. Korea takes this as an opportunity to spread its wings to the American music industry and show them some thingz. Kpop's gonna be a phenomenon, like, an exposed phenomenon. xD 

Last Friday, I flew up to St. Thomas to see my daddy and the fam. It's great being with him again. To me, no lie, he's the coolest, smartest, most level-headed man in the world. I truly feel like I'm the daughter of a celebrity or something. <333 We're watchin the BET Awards right now. I come back home on the 21st. Tropical island weather's pretty cool, save for the no A/C half the time. I try to make the best of that part. :D

I'm gonna make this entry short simply because I want to watch Bad Guy, this new Kdrama. I'm in love with the ost songs and the lead actors, and the setting, and the mood. I'm intrigued. Others may not like it, Idk. But I'm hooked. keke So far, the story's great. xD There's crazy love shapes: triangle, square, idek. Brown Eyed Soul!!! They sing in it omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So yeah, I'm on ep 4 and I wanna watch more before it's time for me to go to bed. 

Tomorrow! <33 

be blessed. 

- Raeven 

ps. I really need to organize my tags. 

haerae: (Default)
Keke, I'm gonna dump a HUGE POOP off my hustle and bustle tomorrow. It'll be epically overwhelming and hectic. You may not be able to handle it. It's just that crazeh. It'll explain my unorganized college schedule, friend DJURAMAH, and so much more jazz. I can't wait for this academic year to end, so I can go home and sleep normally and eat abundantly without having to worry about moneyz, and just hangin with friends. AND OF COURSE, SEE 2PM!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 I'm going to profess my love to Taecyeon, and we are going to be married. *nod* His heart will fall for mine. It's the truth. 

But then again, maybe I don't want to be married to a famous person. T.T But I do want to marry him, just not his fame. keke

OMO, F(X) IS MY SECRET LOVE. I love them. I love their personalities, their closeness, and their voices, and their dance skills, and their style. I just love them. Everything they release, I like, and that's pretty rare for me. I almost cried when their tracks were released on Youtube, and when I saw the teaser for their new mv. THEY'RE SO COOL! xD 

Of the VERY FEW girl groups that I tolerate, 2NE1 and f(x) are THE FAVES of mine. <3333 The ones I admire in some kind of way. They gots the style. They make good music, they have talent, and they have swag. 

Now, back to the unrelenting strain of my homework. Peace out, doods. I've missed LJ homework *kisses*. It's literally had me running to the library and kept me isolated in my room. 

Dumb Baking Science; insane Menu Planning; tedious Leadership; slow Sanitation. T____________________________T END NOWWWWWWW. 

be blessed. <3 

- Raeven 
haerae: (Sando)
 Okay, let's just hope that with this connection, I can post pics. *sucks teeth* Now it's not showing a connection. *SIGH* I don't feel like leaving my room. . . Oh, now it's back. Please go through!!!!!

But wait, LOOKIT SANDO! UP THERE! IN MY ICON! Isn't he dorb?! ! ! ! Awww, I wanna marry him. T.T He's doin that sign he always does with his fingers. Such long, perfect fingers. <3 CUTIE TIMES A THOUSAND TO INFINITY! TAKE THAT PEEPS, TAKE THAT!!!!!

Olivia and I have rearranged our room for the fourth time now, and after church I got tired of the arrangement already. lol I didn't bother her about it, since our last change had only been a few weeks ago. Instead, I just organized my desk corner and moved it away from the window. Before, it was tucked in a corner, right behind our bunk bed, so it was like a hiding place, haha. No one ever realized I was sitting over there because they couldn't see me. keke. I liked the privacy, but the clutter was KILLING ME. I have to much stuff, I've realized. I like to keep everything. I even keep the Forever 21 bags I come back with after shopping. Why do I need them? I don't know, but I keep them hung up on one of the pillars of my bunk bed and leave them there. Finally threw away a buncha crap today, including the beloved Forever 21 bags. :B

I went to church this morning with Nesha and we had a pleasant time. While I was chillin in my room, I ate a Salsaritas' chicken taco salad. Then Bussie(a veryyyyyyyy omg-country-Georgia dood came knocking on my door. I'd forgotten that I'd promised him a ride to Gamestop and I'd already gotten comfortable in my pj pants. I closed the door on him, go dressed and took him. He went to go sell a heap of stuff he didn't play anymore so he could buy a used DS lite. He got a pink one for $80. Now I want one. I think I'm going to ask for one for my birthday. I've wanted one for a while, ever since I played Cooking Mama on it. And yesterday, while I was at Tracey's place getting my hair done, my little cousin Charlie had this ADORABLE baby game. I INSTANTLY wanted it. :3

Other than get my hair done and go to church, that's all I went out for this weekend. I'm planning to do all my homework tomorrow (no class) and do hopefully do some other things I've wanted desperately to accomplish, like finish chapter 16 of Maria and my book project, and do finish chapter 3 of the one I'm doing based on Jaywoo (JWU) <--it's just for fun. Trying to see if I can actually follow through with something and finish it.

Oh, and last night, Cyril, Portia, Yazmin, and I watched Avatar on my computer in the study room. It was super fun. We didn't get done with that thing till 4 in the morning! xD 

Okay, so I wanted to do a spam last time, but the connection's not promising, so I'm gonna try again today. :D 

Pics under the cut, yo! )
haerae: (whazz now?)
It's been a long time! Spring term is beginning tomorrow! And I have academic classes for the first time this year. It's pretty exciting. I don't have to get up super early except on Wednesdays, I don't have to wear my chef outfit except on Wednesdays, and I don't have classes at all on Mondays. 

My classes this term: 

Baking Science (same hours as lab classes: 7am-1pm) on Wed. 
Leadership (NONONO - insert Jokwon here - ) on Tuesdays and Thursdays 
Food & Beverage Cost Control - on Tues. and Thurs. 
Sanitation on Tues. 

I don't know what to expect, but hopefully, it's just a repeat of CCS, if not easier. I heard there's alot of writing and craziness in Baking Science and that Cost Control class doesn't help it at all, but I'm just hoping it's something like Mrs. Carter's workload. I can deal with that if I had to. 

Over Spring Break, I practically had the campus to myself. The first few days made me stir crazy with the loneliness. I talked to myself more than normal. And I think I was emotionally vulnerable, but I was fine after the break started to come to an end. Ariel, Olivia, and Alexis(another Alexis. We call this one Sandycheeks <3) went to stay in Lake Norman for three days in a Marriot hotel. They invited me to stay with them for free, but I just stayed in my dorm. I wanted to get things done, but I didn't do anything, really. lol I was supposed to work on the book, but I sat around with the file open.  NOTHING WAS DONE. I took over the whole common room for two nights and watched tv in there, played sims. It was great. But I didn't even keep up with Rosetta Stone. I got it to learn Korean. And I AM going to learn it. I'm currently on Unit 2, and so far, so good. I know some colors, I can ask "What is this?"; I can count to 6, and read some words, so it's coming along. I enjoy doing it. It's fun. That must mean I'm obsessed with Korea. I am. lol 

I'm gonna dye my hair. It's happening Wednesday. I'm afraid, because it's gonna be lighter and louder, but my biggest worry is if it doesn't compliment my skin. I'm going with a red. The red Tyra Banks sported a few times. 

Yeah. That's all I want to say today. That, and I've made an observation. Stasha, Gwyn, and I are attractive singles. Like, we've been single all our lives! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE! Find us, perfect boys! My goodness. >.>;;; Yes, I'm frustrated. We're getting old! pffft.

Anyways. Oh yeah. While I was alone last week, I sang a song by James Fauntleroy and made my voice chipmunk. It sounds all Disney at the end, but I think it's pretty cute. lol And I improvised on like, two words, because James Fauntleroy doesn't seem to have lyrics for any of his songs, so. . . bear with me. I had fun doing it, so I think I'm gonna do it often. heehee! <3 Listen prease! 


be blessed. 

- Raeven


haerae: (Default)

July 2015

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