the passionable cafe of rae

(I don't understand gif making. I put text on this gif and it freaks out on me, so it's pretty glitchy looking, but you get the gist, right? ;D)
This gif would've been more exciting if I'd posted it the day after I posted my last entry, which was when the live-changing moment happened!!!


XDDDDDDDD I'm too sleepy to explain much, but I will tomorrow. Just know that I FINALLY HAVE A JOB. MY FIRST REAL JOB EVER. At a Food Lion grocery store. In the bakery. As a cake decorator. *0*

<3 <3 I haven't gotten a call back yet since I went there, for my schedule and when I start training and stuff, but she said I had the job, and she can't take back what she said, right? Especially after we shook hands right??? :/ I just can't wait to start. I need to make money, yo ! ! ! !

I hope she calls me tomorrow.


Until then!

be blessed. ♥

- Raeven

I caught another cold. This usually doesn't happen to me so close to the other one I had back in November, even though the one in November was a weak one (Again, I rarely ever get sick). This one's a little stronger. It actually came with a fever, and I'm at work right now, shiverin my buns off. I'm a little warmer now cuz I put my jacket on, but yeah, I'm not looking forward to the walk home.

You know when you're not feeling well and you have a fever of any level and your skin's just sensitive? Like, you don't want your skin to rub up on the clothes you're wearing or anything? That's how I feel now. And my body's a little richetty. My head's swimming, and my voice is low. :P

Hehe, the one cool thing I like when I have a cold though is that while my voice is smoky from being sore, it makes me sing better. At least, that's what I think in the shower. I wish my singing voice was like this everyday! :D

I went to all my classes today except for Macroeconomics, my last class in the evening, overslept during my nap between classes and was late for the Psychology test. But overall, the day was better than I thought it would be. I thought I wouldn't want to get out of bed this morning, but after taking a shower, I was fine for most of the day though my face hurt --maybe sinuses?). Gwyn and I caught this thing together. She caught it first, then I picked it up just yesterday. keke.

I don't know how well I did on the test, but I'm not too worried. I've been doing good so far, gettin A's on my quizzes. One thing that surprised me though, was that even though I was 15 minutes late, literally rushed out of my apartment to get there, coming into a classroom to everyone stopping their tests to stare at me for a second, I had no anxiety. That's a first in a very long time! A couple years ago, I picked up this restlessness in organized crowded places. I didn't feel comfortable in the classroom or any other kinds of gatherings where you had to sit down and focus attention on an authority in front of you. Actually, the one thing I worried about on my first days of academic classes were that I may end up with a seat in the front, close to the front, or dead center, away from a door I can slip away to if I needed to.

Every day, at some point of the alotted time in the classroom (if I'm feeling uncomfortable, which is most of the time in these situations), I'd get so restless and anxious that it was hard to concentrate and I thought everyone was looking at me, that they thought I was crazy. It's far-fetched, but I've programmed myself to think this way for too long. Now I'm trying to program it back, but it's not gonna happen all at once. I'm not going to settle with saying that being around people makes me anxious. It's an easy excuse shy people can get away with, but it's not going to be me.

But anyway, yes, I was surprised. Maybe the fact that I just woke up, was a little hazy in the head, and I was too strung on being there in enough time for the test(that my professor hadn't kicked me out for being so late) to care. All the other times I've been put in pressing situations like that I've freaked out inside. But this time it didn't . So now I ask myself why can't I not care like I did today? Why don't I just tell myself my education's more important than how I'm looking in the classroom or anywhee else? I'm gonna practice that. I'm gonna focus on that and see what happens. :D (hmph!)

Rachel came over and picked Gwyn and I up to go out somewhere a few hours ago. We went to Amelie's and played card games and talked. It was very enjoyable! xD They dropped me off at the library when I had to go to work and hit the movies. They're seeing Tangled right now. I wanted to see that!;_;

After I got dropped off was when my body decided to be a meanie. So now I'm feeling like a grandpa all old and crippled in his rocking chair (envision this with me, folks) Oh, and I lost my key card again. lol I called Amelie's and they didn't see it, so maybe I left it back home. PPPPRRREAZZZZEEE BE BACK HOME!

<3

P.S. - The girl who works with me on my shifts always has her guy friend talking to her in deep convo across the desk for hours! He's alot like me in alot of ways. He thinks about relationships like me, actually wants a friend before a gf. I've been nosy with their convos, but they gladly let me in, so I've been talking with them, killing time.

At one point, my coworker left to get her things and he said the guy I checked out dvds to was flirting with me:

me: "lol, I know, but ermurgh (sideways glance) - I wasn't interested.
him: "probably wanted you to watch those movies with him."
me: "Yeah, no, not gonna happen keke"
*cackles together*
me: "Yeah, I'm kinda picky. My friends have started to say that about me."
him: "but that's good. You know what you want and you shouldn't settle for less"
*I nod nod nod*
him: "Don't let your friends say that about you because they've probably moved to fast with past relationships"
*screech* *clear throat*
me: "oh no, the friends I do have are very close to me, they know me. When they said I was picky, they meant it in a good way"
*then he nods, approves*
him: "oh ok, well then that's very good!"

:D
It was a really nice convo. I APPROVE OF GUYS LIKE THIS! But I'm not really attracted to this one. >.> I mean, we can totally talk in the future, and I say whatever happens (with any guy I talk to),happens. If it's meant to be, fine. But yeah, we just talked. :) And what I love most is that he wasn't flirting at all, just wanted to talk. I LOVE THAT.

So bai for now! A mission for a part time profession is underway for Gwyn and I tomorrow. WE WILL BOTH COME OUT OF IT IN TRIUMPH AND VICTORY!!!

lovebeans. I'm out. <3333333

OH YEAH. TVXQ's Keep Your Head Down. It was THA BOSS. BOSSIN IT UP AND SERVIN IT TO JYJ. Whatever the media says about it, I know it was for JYJ and I'm glad they did it. It'll hopefully knock some gay out of Yoochun and make me love him a little again. Or it'll just make him cower in a corner and a cling to Jaejoong wondering what trash they've made Kanye West rap to and why Homin came out singing like the gourmet biscuits they've always been while JYJ has two of the best singers and sound like a sad outdated can of Pilsbury dough.

Kay, now I'm really out. xD

- Raeven

I'm back in Charlotte now! xD I've been back since yesterday actually.
The train ride up was enjoyable other than the unrelenting AC that seemed to blow my way on full blast. omg, I froze my butt off. They provide nothing but pillows on a train. No blankets. It's what they need. o.o.

So I'm staying at Tisha's house again like I did last year. She and her family have helped me out alot. xD And her little son Xavier's seriously the brightest boy I've ever known! The kid just shouldn't know or say the things he does at his age. It's amazing. I want a son like him. :D

I've been chillin for most of today. I woke up late(nothing new there) and took my time getting dressed to go out. I went to an auto place to replace the windshield wiper blades on my car. The guy who helped me pick them out was gay, and it's nothing new these days, but I just thought it was interesting that a gay guy worked at an auto parts store. >.> Maybe it's just me. lol He was super sweet. :)

Yesterday, after I went to Mrs. Sonia's house to get my car, I drove downtown to City View to visit Cyril(the only one I know whose moved in), and was glomped in the hall by another guy friend (who disappeared somewhere soon after). Cyril was on the phone with Yaz, standing out in the balcony, and when he let me through the slide door, I coulda fallen off the balcony. The view was AMAZING! I'm soooooo jealous! I told him I'd be at his balcony so much, they can pretty much just call it mine. :p I want itttt! ! ! ! ! ! You can see the whole freaking city! ughhhhhhhh it's delicioussssss.

We talked to Yaz on speaker phone for a while about how we're gonna cook up a storm at our apartment. Cyril and Ten said they'd be there to eat our food, and blah blah. It was a good time. xDD Cyril walked me back to the parking deck down the block, because I can't park in City View as a visitor, and because it was dark and late and I sure as heck am not walking alone. :T

Parking in City View is full. It filled up as fast as a dbsk concert would. I was too late, so I'm thinking about paying for monthly parking in the public parking lot across the street instead of paying the same price for the parking deck a whole block down. Way inconvenient.

But that's all for now. I got sidetracked while writing this, big time. I should have been finished with this thing like 3 hours ago. I even had photoshop open to make more icons. But now I just want to turn off my laptop and go to sleep. lol I got epically distracted. haha.

Saturday's gonna be hectic. I'll tell you about it tomorrow. :D

peace! <3

- Raeven

P.S. - I MISS/LOVE MY CARRRR. *0*

 Okay, let's just hope that with this connection, I can post pics. *sucks teeth* Now it's not showing a connection. *SIGH* I don't feel like leaving my room. . . Oh, now it's back. Please go through!!!!!

But wait, LOOKIT SANDO! UP THERE! IN MY ICON! Isn't he dorb?! ! ! ! Awww, I wanna marry him. T.T He's doin that sign he always does with his fingers. Such long, perfect fingers. <3 CUTIE TIMES A THOUSAND TO INFINITY! TAKE THAT PEEPS, TAKE THAT!!!!!



Olivia and I have rearranged our room for the fourth time now, and after church I got tired of the arrangement already. lol I didn't bother her about it, since our last change had only been a few weeks ago. Instead, I just organized my desk corner and moved it away from the window. Before, it was tucked in a corner, right behind our bunk bed, so it was like a hiding place, haha. No one ever realized I was sitting over there because they couldn't see me. keke. I liked the privacy, but the clutter was KILLING ME. I have to much stuff, I've realized. I like to keep everything. I even keep the Forever 21 bags I come back with after shopping. Why do I need them? I don't know, but I keep them hung up on one of the pillars of my bunk bed and leave them there. Finally threw away a buncha crap today, including the beloved Forever 21 bags. :B

I went to church this morning with Nesha and we had a pleasant time. While I was chillin in my room, I ate a Salsaritas' chicken taco salad. Then Bussie(a veryyyyyyyy omg-country-Georgia dood came knocking on my door. I'd forgotten that I'd promised him a ride to Gamestop and I'd already gotten comfortable in my pj pants. I closed the door on him, go dressed and took him. He went to go sell a heap of stuff he didn't play anymore so he could buy a used DS lite. He got a pink one for $80. Now I want one. I think I'm going to ask for one for my birthday. I've wanted one for a while, ever since I played Cooking Mama on it. And yesterday, while I was at Tracey's place getting my hair done, my little cousin Charlie had this ADORABLE baby game. I INSTANTLY wanted it. :3

Other than get my hair done and go to church, that's all I went out for this weekend. I'm planning to do all my homework tomorrow (no class) and do hopefully do some other things I've wanted desperately to accomplish, like finish chapter 16 of Maria and my book project, and do finish chapter 3 of the one I'm doing based on Jaywoo (JWU) <--it's just for fun. Trying to see if I can actually follow through with something and finish it.

Oh, and last night, Cyril, Portia, Yazmin, and I watched Avatar on my computer in the study room. It was super fun. We didn't get done with that thing till 4 in the morning! xD 

Okay, so I wanted to do a spam last time, but the connection's not promising, so I'm gonna try again today. :D 

( Pics under the cut, yo! )

 So practical was today, and I didn't get a great final grade on it, because I forgot some paper thing for all the stuff I made, but I got a 97 on my paper. 


But even though I was confident on the written exam, I still got a 74 on it. pfft. And I got an awesome comment from Chef Pehoski (who sounds ALOT like Mr. Cieslak omg! Wait, is that how you spell his name?! I forgot already! Sometimes I almost think it's him whenever the chef speaks lol) 

He said my paper was excellent, that it was very thorough. The only reason I got a 97 was because I didn't put any pictures in the paper. The paper was about pies, by the way. lol 

Here's what me and my group's tartlettes look like together. We each had to make 6 by ourselves for the practical, and when it's graded, we pick the best ones to put on a marble slab and serve them to a classroom. 


Mine are the four on the far right. :D 

All of these are made from straight up scratch, all the way down to the whipped topping on the mini turtle pies. Everything had to be done in this one class, 6 hours (which flies by way too fast on practical day). 
But yeah, that's what I made. I didn't think I was going to finish everything, but miraculously, I did. I'm tellin' you, almost every day labs feels like those Food Network challenge episodes. A little of me enjoys working under pressure, cuz then I work faster, but communicating with people who get edgy and hostile when they're working under pressure isn't really pleasant. 


A possible-fight-very-heated-argument went down in my room just a half hour ago between Olivia and Cyril. Cyril has a very bad temper. He said he's had to work on it since he was young, and he's been excellent with keeping it in, because I totally didn't know how mad he could get until now. It was pretty scary, but I understand why he did it. Olivia's pretty stubborn, and Cyril's a natural hothead. Both from New York. Not a good mix. 

We were all enjoying Lion King when this all happened too. But it was built up from other things Olivia had supposedly been bothering Cyril with, so. . . But anyway, after Yazmin warded him off and Stephon took him out of the room, I left to go talk to them while Stephon talked some sense into Olivia. Now it's peaceful for tonight, and I respect Stephon even more for speaking so maturely to her. He really knows how to word things, something I've always wished I could do. It's rather charming. 

I bought Smallville Season 1 today! I bought it for $25 at a local cd store. I want to collect them all, so I can watch them again. It's always been my favorite series, and so many amazing memories came from it when Stasha and I were obsessed with it, so yeah. Thursday, I'm hostin a marathon for it. keke. It's gonna be awesome. Tom Welling looked his best on the earlier seasons because he was younger and less buff then. Now he looks all plain and mature. Just doesn't have the same effect on me. lol But man, I sure love me some Michael Rosenbaum! :D

I need to go to bed now. As soon as I get my laundry out. 

Peace! 

be blessed. <3 

- Raeven

 I got one single hour of sleep on Monday, all because I stayed up talking with Olivia and Ariel's brother. He had to catch a flight in the morning, so he slept on our floor. Passed out at 4 something and got up at 6, so two hours. 

Last night, I slept for four hours, then took a 30 min nap after class before work-study. And I was planning to go to bed at 12 now, but we have company, so that probably won't happen. I wish I was able to not care who was in my room and sleep shamelessly, but it's harrrd! 

>.< Oh well. 

Peace out doods! <3 

be blessed. 

- Raeven

I breezed through the rest of fall term, flew home for Thanksgiving break, and came back yesterday, started labs again today, without updating squat on this journal. WOE IS ME! This is my laziness in full force people. I haven't even unpacked my clothes yet.

The night before I left back for school, I went over to Gwyn's just to say bye and retrieve my Hotel Africa manhwas from her, but I ended up staying for a good hour talking with her. It was sooooo nice, omgah! All the good stuff happens when you're close to leaving, I swear. It happens every time for me. We talked about alot of things, about our futures, boys, complicated-feeling-edness, SHINee. . . just stuff. I love times like that. They're special. <3

Stasha got a webcam while we were in Pensecola for Thanksgiving. We went to Best Buy on Black Friday, but the webcams weren't on sale, really. We got a logitech one for $20. I WANTED to get Smallville Season 6, because they had all the seasons for only $10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (those things are worth $50-60 a season *gasp*), but I couldn't find it on the shelf. It stopped at season 5. And Stasha was already in that boa of a line, so I couldn't spend too much time roaming the place till I found it. When we left the store, Stasha told me she saw a whole stinkin bin of Smallville dvd sets. I could have died. We didn't get any Smallville, sadly, so I'm stuck with hunting them down on the internet and using up hard drive space. Oh well. It was my intention anyway.

I took my first taxi on November 20th 2009, ladies and gents! It was THRILLING! I called for one the night before and didn't even know how to ask for one. lol I was like, "Ah em, uh-how---what are your hours?", then the arab guy was like "hehe, m'am, our service is 24 hours," so I was like "Oh! Okay, well. . . " and I told him I needed a ride to the airport at 4:30am the next morning and he asked for my address, and that was it. I got up at 3:30am, so I'd have time to take a shower and figure out what last minute stuff I'd need and then he called my cell telling me he was parked downstairs. He was like, 8 minutes early. That made me happy. I'd heard stories from Nesha and Erin about their cab experiences and both told me theirs were always late. They told me to call a few of them and catch the first one that arrived. I just risked calling one. So I figure I'd give him business next time I need a ride super early in the morning. It was a pretty fancy cab too, with leather seats and tinted windows and such. I thought those were the ones that were most expensive, but apparently, they're the same price as all the other ones in Charlotte. I was highly impressed. :D

When I got home, I didn't get to take a nap at all. Gwyn and I went straight to Tampa to pick up Kriss and we talked the whole way there, catching up, listening to toons, you know, the good stuff. Then, Kriss, Gwyn, and I got Taco Bell, then took Kriss home, stayed at Kriss' for about 30 minutes, then Gwyn picked up Stasha, we reunited there, and she took me to my mom's. I was at my mom's for a good two hours. We had a good chat. She had to take Stasha back to the school at 5:30, so I waited for her to take her up there, then I went home to get ready for Stasha's school's football game at 7:30.

Omg, I was already spacey from being so tired. I got a pretty prominent headache by the time the game was over. And we didn't even go straight home after the game. Since the team one, nana took us to get ice cream at Sonic, then she had to take Stasha's friend home. *sigh* The day was crazily long. But it was well worth it. I had such an awesome day that day. First taxi ride, first football game. xD And Stasha's really not that bad in cheerleading! She and Chengzhi look dorb in their uniforms, doin' they're little moves. It was fun to watch. And the game was intense!!! I had alot of fun.

My bedroom's frikkin magical! That new bed I have. . . I miss it already. Only got to sleep in it for about 5 days. That wasn't enough. :p

* Went to Steak and Shake with Maria, Kara, Chase, Emily Walker, and Ronnie last Tuesday. We caught up and cracked jokes. I LOVE get togethers like that.

* Went to Cassie's thanksgiving party on Tuesday also. That was warm and toasteh fun. <3 The turkey and ham was splendid, but I felt a little awkward for the first hour we were there. Felt kinda out of place, mostly because I hadn't seen the crew in a while, and also because I'm so not in CCS anymore. That must've been it. Surrounded by a bunch a' youngins'. lol With the exception of Gwyn and maybe Andrew, I guess. lol It was still fun, though. Cassie's an awesome friend.

* The trip to Pensecola was very nice. Everyone came this year--everyone back home, that is. Chris, Scooter, Mom, Nana, Papa, Stasha, Dede, Me, Auntie Wyler, and Tyler. My mom, Chris, and Scooter, hadn't been showing up for the last few Thanksgivings we've spent in P-cola, so alot of the fam was very happy to see them.

* I'd been in a fairly crappy mood that whole trip, mostly because of my selfish want to sulk and be moody. I really don't know why I felt so impatient on the drive; maybe riding in vehicles with family did that to a person anyway, but I just got annoyed so easily on that whole trip, pretty much. Maybe it was because I was sleepy? No idea. I don't wanna say it's hormones, because I really can't identify hormones in the first place. I put myself in denial over alot of things like that. >.< I don't know when I'm gonna stop doing that.

* So many babies in the family now! :3 Makes me so happy! I got to hold four of them. <3333333 So squishy, smooth, soft, bubbly! I kind of daydreamed about having kids a few times while I was there. But give me a break--there are NO babies whatsoever in the fam that resides in boring old Palm Bay. If we want to see babies, it's going to be coming from the next gen., which is me, Stasha, and Dede. >____<;; not happening any time soon. So you can imagine my excitement when I lay eyes on babies I'm obligated to hold and love on, because they're part of the famileh! :DD Man, I love babies.

* I haven't written much in the past few weeks, like I should have been. I promised a chapter to Maria on break, and I totally haven't even much started on it. It's depressing. But since she hasn't asked, I'm gonna take the opportunity to try and finish it so I can surprise her. Haven't done that yet. 107,000 words total, though! That's a novel already!!!! <333 Oh man, you don't know how good that feels.

* Well, anyway, it's nice to be back in Charlotte. I found myself missing friends and my room. My dorm bed is actually very comfortable. I want to buy a duvet cover for my comforter at Ikea. They have a very nice selection. It's gotten way colder, cold enough to make my hands feel like I've stuff them in a freezer for long enough, enough to make my face feel uncomfortable and well, cold.

* I was very glad to find that the same students I've been seeing for the past three months are now mixed with a batch of newer students who've moved in for the winter term. There have been much more cuter boys roaming around, and *whispers* more gays. The first guy me and Olivia met--when we were leaving out of the taxi from the airport-- was a cute gay guy in the elevator. I was so bummed. He was adorable, and a waste of boy. My hopes of getting a boyfriend have broadened though.

*Hey hey! I was totally unaware of the new asian guy sitting in front of me in the cafe tonight. OH MAN, I was talking to Portia and absently looked away when a guy caught my attention when he stood. When he turned around, I almost freaked out. His eyes were so hot! He had those sporty kinda intense asian eyes, the narrow ones anime artists usually put on evil or mysterious characters--that kind. But he doesn't look that talkative or friendly, so I don't know if I'm ever gonna talk to him. But that's alright. If this batch isn't all that, maybe Spring term'll be even better!! keke. I'm so desperate. lol

* Okay, I need to sleep now. More tomorrow, hopefully. Peace!!! xD

be blessed. <3

- Raeven

Elllo peepels. I'm all registered for next term and it feels super great, especially when you're a transfer student with 24 credit hours already in the system and gets to register early for classes. Everyone is freaking out, having sleepovers so they can get up at 4 in the morning in time to add their classes by 6am. xD For culinary students, there are two times you can go to class: 7am--1pm or 1:45pm-7pm. I have AM labs, and I like it that way because I have the rest of the day to myself while others are just beginning theirs. Alot of peeps have realized that AM labs are better. I have my AM labs for next term, so I have no stresses right now. Feels really good.

I talked to Gwyn on Skype last night. It was an impulse thing cuz I had friends over and I wanted them to meet her. It was Yazmin, Cyril, and Olivia. Cyril, though perverted and potty-mouthed, and a total bad influence, he's also fun to be around. He's super funny and terribly honest. But alot of times, he just needs to shut up. haha

Anyway, he thought Gwyn was cool, and that's all that counts. hehe. Yazmin talked to her about Inuyasha and discussed movies for like 10 seconds, then I spazzed for a while, and said goodbye. It was nice. haha.

I also talked to Stasha a few times this week. She told me about Nate, the guy she kinda likes, and it was very enjoyable to listen to. haha. He's a good kid. I approve. I just think the whole fact that he's short--making him way shorter than Stasha-- is a little awkward. lol  <3


Ok, wow, I need to write now. So behind. 

12/21 of ACHANIS

Tomorrow then! xD

peace. 

be blessed. 

- Raeven